kellyoxford: Humble yourself today by squatting over a mirror.
kellyoxford: Humble yourself today by squatting over a mirror.
View Articlekellyoxford: One of my kids said if they had to eat alone or eat with Robin...
kellyoxford: One of my kids said if they had to eat alone or eat with Robin Williams they'd choose Williams, so I threw them out of the car going 60MPH.
View Articlekellyoxford: Wouldn't be surprised if Katy Perry was actually a blow up doll...
kellyoxford: Wouldn't be surprised if Katy Perry was actually a blow up doll that came to life.
View Articlekellyoxford: If you can name 2 'Real Housewives' cities but can't name 2...
kellyoxford: If you can name 2 'Real Housewives' cities but can't name 2 cities in Africa, grab a fork and stick it in an electrical socket.
View Articlekellyoxford: I want to be the person you hate to see coming then hate to see...
kellyoxford: I want to be the person you hate to see coming then hate to see going.
View Articlekellyoxford: No "Oprah's Favorite things" this year, instead I give you this:...
kellyoxford: No "Oprah's Favorite things" this year, instead I give you this: What my husband said as Oprahs Fav Things 2010 played http://t.co/gqWG03Bu
View Articlekellyoxford: Photos of Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez are actually child...
kellyoxford: Photos of Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez are actually child pornography.
View Articlekellyoxford: Ladies, if you don't hear Mortal Kombat's "FINISH HIM" before...
kellyoxford: Ladies, if you don't hear Mortal Kombat's "FINISH HIM" before sex, you're doing it wrong. http://t.co/I3mz1Hxe
View Articlekellyoxford: You don't know the dif. between you're/your. I win. RT...
kellyoxford: You don't know the dif. between you're/your. I win. RT @scribbler81 Im guessing your something aside from a massively unfunny cunt. What?
View Articlekellyoxford: I don't care about what you have to say if you have a dollar...
kellyoxford: I don't care about what you have to say if you have a dollar sign in your name.
View Articlekellyoxford: Just got whiplash falling into toilet because I was stuck inside...
kellyoxford: Just got whiplash falling into toilet because I was stuck inside a small dress in case you're wondering who's raising our future generation.
View Articlekellyoxford: Back to The Future is a cautionary tale about going back in time...
kellyoxford: Back to The Future is a cautionary tale about going back in time and discovering your Mom wants to fuck you.
View Articlekellyoxford: "Don't you dare buy me anything for Christmas!" is code for "I...
kellyoxford: "Don't you dare buy me anything for Christmas!" is code for "I don't want to buy you a present."
View Articlekellyoxford: If I was a British guy in the US, I would tell a lot of people I...
kellyoxford: If I was a British guy in the US, I would tell a lot of people I was Adele’s ex boyfriend.
View Articlekellyoxford: Interesting concept I've learned as a parent: Kids DO NOT...
kellyoxford: Interesting concept I've learned as a parent: Kids DO NOT identify being gay and race as 'different' unless someone tells them they are.
View Articlekellyoxford: Women shouldn't smoke weed while they are pregnant because their...
kellyoxford: Women shouldn't smoke weed while they are pregnant because their baby will never want to come out.
View Articlekellyoxford: RT @cheesebagface: @piercewortham I realize she is popular but...
kellyoxford: RT @cheesebagface: @piercewortham I realize she is popular but @kellyoxford has never tweeted anything worth a fuck
View Articlekellyoxford: RT @cheesebagface: Fred clause, pirates of the Caribbean 2...
kellyoxford: RT @cheesebagface: Fred clause, pirates of the Caribbean 2 #MovieMondays
View Articlekellyoxford: Anyone need to cry? Read this in August, cried. Read this...
kellyoxford: Anyone need to cry? Read this in August, cried. Read this tonight. Cried. You're welcome. (SERIOUS) http://t.co/quHLMOUy
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